sanity/insanity

Folks, I am starting to spend a considerable amount of time contemplating my sanity.

Since these voices started, I have spent hours and hours pouring through the recordings and trying to interpret the messages.  It sounds like one thing, then another, then another, then back to the original, etc.  The most important thing I have to remember is that there is something there.  I know the voices are there.  I am at the point where I am unable to be convinced otherwise.  After all, I have them recorded.  Documented.  Playable.  Replayable.  I know the truth.  The truth is there for anyone to take hold of.  Anyone.   Not just me, anyone.

But my mind plays tricks on me.   Doubt.  Fear.  Audio pareidolia. 

The mind that has learned for 40+ years that “what you see is what you get.”  The mind that has been shaken to it’s very core within the last 10 months or so. 

The mind that continues to press forward and look through, beneath, between, beyond.  The mind that asks the difficult questions.  And comes up with a few answers, and more questions.

Sanity.  I need to keep my tenuous grasp on it.

I’m holding on for dear life.

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One Response to “sanity/insanity”

  1. Please don’t go over the edge. 🙂

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